The very first complaint I have on the stupid story about the gull who is stealing Doritos from a shop in Aberdeen is that they keep calling him a "seagull." If you just check your nearest bird book, you will not see the word "seagull." Bird people - and I happen to live with one - worry about things like this. And then I have to listen. So, please, do not call 'Sam' a SEAgull. He is a Herring Gull. But he likes Cheese Doritos to go with the herring. Big hairy deal.
The second thing I do not like is that he is getting way more attention than yours truly, and I have been pitching corn and cheese products for a long time on my blog. No, I do not walk into the nearest Highland grocery shoppe and steal a bag of Cheetos or Cheez Waffies. Besides, I am Welsh - Welsh-American - and in America we stand in line reading the Globe or National Enquirer waiting for the checker to finish talking about her divorce with the customers in front of you. Also Welsh people aren't as crabby as Scots. They do not marry their cousins as much, either.
At my next party I will not be serving Doritos. Unless they decide to sponsor my blog. Then we'll talk.
If you have not seen the video of Sam the Land Pirate, it is not my problem.
Photo: BBC
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