Today is Barney's party. I could not be there. As all of my loyal blog readers and fan club members know, I am on the No Fly List because I bit a baggage inspector at O'Hare. Instead we are tele-partying. They sent me actual real time food and party favors. Barney's people offered to hire management as a servant, so I would not feel like I was having a second-rate time, but she told them to stick it. Good thing they understand about me living with a liberal. I do not need her as a servant anyway. She opened the box of party food for me. That is enough.
They sent a cheese ball, filet de boeuf, Santa cookies, mini triple sausage pizzas, which, OK I take it back, the boss had to warm up, chicken nuggets and caviar. Also a stocking which I will hang by the chimney with care, ho ho ho, and a picture of Barney.
Barney is not trying to be green or anything. He is just nice. Some of us old dogs cannot stay up late any more at parties even if they are at the White House, and there is a raccoon practically tap dancing on our head. We cannot hear too much or see, but we still appreciate pizza and cookies. Also ravioli. And M&M's. And Cheetos.
Last year I went to the party on Air Force 3, but this year Miss Beazley got to use the plane for her friends. I do not believe in sharing or being fair, so I do not think Miss Beazley should have any rights. She is a dope.
LIVE UPDATE: Here is what everyone is talking about: Mutt Romney. We thought it might be a big, fat, liberal lie when the Boston Globe printed that story about his Setter. Let me be the first to say this: Setters are stupid. Still, it was really bad. Man, that guy - I don't care if he is a conservative, and he has family values - NOT. What do you expect? He is from Massachusetts - Liberalville. It rubs off on a person.
Jackson and Dave just showed up. You talk about ... I mean they are supposed to get there before Barney and Miss Dip S*it Beazley - I know I do not allow swearing, but she is the WORST! Their people are pretty weird. Jackson dressed up like Darth Vadar for Halloween. Dave was Superman. Doesn't that tell you something? Bizarre. The boss once wanted me to wear reindeer antlers to be in the ReinDog Parade. I went behind the bed, and I would not come out for 12 hours. I wear a plaid bow tie on Christmas. That's as far as it goes. And a black one for New Year's Eve.
I sent Barney a new board game called Nazi Hunter for Christmas. Since he is moving to Paraguay, I thought it would be fun. The Nazis are pretty old. But there are new ones. Barney's great grandfather was a front man sensible business man, and he made a lot of money off the Nazis did not mean to sell out America get caught upset anyone because they thought he was a traitor bad guy. The business of America is business. So what if he got advance tips on stuff? So what if his Nazi friends business associates needed a place to stash their cash if the peasants revolted?
MORE LIVE FROM THE WHITE HOUSE: Alan Greenspaniel is at the party, hanging around the punch bowl a little too much, if you ask me. India the cat just pulled the caviar and crudites off a side table. God, why did they let her in?
This is terrible about Typepad. I hope it is not a terrorist attack. We always have standing rib roast on Christmas.
Posted by: ArthurCorgi | December 19, 2007 at 12:31 PM