It's My Birthday, World

Actually it was on the 12th.  I am 16.  My publisher thinks we should tie in my birthday celebration with St. Patrick's Day, because pretty much everyone is Irish in Ameica if it means you can drink green beer.  If we put up a PayPal donation button, drunken people reading my blog will give us $200.00 instead of $20.  or even $2.00. 

But back to me.  It isn't every day you meet a 16 year-old Welsh Corgi Pembroke with his own blog and servants.  Of course, I still haven't heard back from Tracey Rosengrave, the "agent" who wrote me a Dear Arthur, We Love Your Blog Pay Us Some Money And We Will Publish You letter.   I am doing just fine without her, thank you very much, but she will regret not snapping me up while I was still somewhat affordable.

Here is where I was this weekend.  The boss and me were on a secret mission.   We ate pizza twice.   

    

    

Comments

[Daliwood]

Arthur, many happy returns of the day. If I were you, I wouldn't take the publisher's advice and overlap the celebration with Saint Pat's. I work with several people who boast Irish ancestry, and all week long they've been wearing huge foam leprechaun hats that say "Got beer?" And of course, they hand out shot glasses with shamrocks on them and cheap plastic necklaces that say "Kiss me. I'm Irish." They all look like refugees from a Third World Mardi Gras.

What's next? T-shirts that say, "I survived the potato famine!"?

My ancestors are Danish, and they're a lot more reserved than those free-wheelin' Irish folks. Maybe that's why I'm reluctant to join in the revelry.

Be careful on those secret missions. They are fraught with danger. In that top photo, I think I see snow. You might get stranded and have to be rescued by one of those ridiculously enthusiastic St. Bernards with a pizza dangling from its collar. And someone may be there with a camera--someone who'll sell the photos to an unscrupulous publisher of tabloids. Being the lead story on "Entertainment Tonight" certainly wouldn't advance your career. Those celebrity junkies love to savage someone like you.

Be careful too of Ms. Rosengrave. I don't have your publishing savvy, but I'm not convinced she has your best interests in mind. Maybe you could ignore some of her phone calls and see if she learns a little humility.

Happy 16th.

[ArthurCorgi]

Thanks, D. That damned Tracey is really on my list. I agree that I should not have tied my birthday to the Irish. I am Welsh, and if the boss would give it a rest once in a while, I would publish a fascinating account of the noble lineage of the Pembroke Welsh Corgi.

As you know from previous columns, I was rejected by the Pembroke Welsh Corgi Club of America because I dropped out of dog school. They are such snobs. They would prefer some butt sniffer who lays around by the fireside while the preppy bipeds in their wing chairs read the Wall Street Journal. In this family, I am the financial brains. And I was doing it before Brian on Family Guy.

Time for a snack.