Dear readers, I have been SLAPPed by the minions of the Queen of England. Heh. My family has a long, long history of irritating the royals in that lovely land. She doesn't like being called a 'despot' so anyone doing this gets a letter from a'gang' of lawyers who don't like being called a 'gang'. So I put this in parenthesis to emphisize that this is an opinion of mine and not a fact. Namely, they could also be a 'gaggle' or a 'lynch mob' or 'professional gunslinging lawyers' or a lot of other, unflattering names.
Well, in America we had this 'revolution' which gave us a 'Constitution' and within that is the 'First Amendment' and it says that we have 'freedom of speech'. In England, 'despotic and vile' kings and queens have the ability to cut off anyone's metaphorical head and silence them if they irritate said 'queen' who is about as royal as a pain in the a...s. Metaphorically speaking. Heh.
All over this planet, kings and queens attack and abuse writers who mock them. In Saudi Arabia, such writers are beaten to death. In Thailand, they are put in prison. In England, they are taken to court.
By the way, this letter came to me last night but this morning, it dissapeared from both my and my husband's computers. This isn't the first time this has happened to me. I hope whoever rigged this is happy to learn that I save important correspondence OFF LINE. HAHAHAHA. Gads. I grew up in Spookville, after all.
Anyway, according to this poor little old hedge fund, they are NOT going bankrupt. Got that? They are simply, without any warning (except when I noticed a small sentence in a Bloomberg story)ending this hedge fund which operates out of Guernsey which is an island 'owned' or 'controlled' or somehow, an appendage or 'possession' of a certain royal family that came out of Germany after the last Stuart died...During the wars with France and Spain during the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries, Guernsey shipowners and sea captains exploited their proximity to mainland Europe, applying for Letters of Marque and turning their merchantmen into privateers....A Projet de Loi is the equivalent of an UK Bill or a French projet de loi, and a Law is the equivalent of a UK Act of Parliament or a French loi. Laws have no effect until promulgated by Orders-in-Council of the Crown. They are given the Royal Sanction at regular meetings of the Privy Council in London after, which they are returned to the Islands for formal registration at the Royal Court.......this group of upstanding upstarts are NOT GOING BANKRUPT...I used the wrong word! They are making an orderly exit and are, over the course of a year, scrambling to pay off their investors and all other entities named and unnamed. I removed my story using the word 'bankruptcy' so they can't persecute me over all this. But the fact remains, they are closing this hedge fund and the 'voting' in August is pro-forma since people voting 'nay' won't get anything and the people voting 'yea' are praying they get some of their investment back as the hedge fund tries to unload its paperwork. Reminds me about selling tulips after the bubble burst. Or selling Mississippi shares when that collapsed. They all appealed to the government to declare these things 'sitll valuable' rather than defunct. Anyone on the streets on in the early media (scribblings on walls, etc) saying otherwise would be prosecuted and punished. Everyone wanted everyone to believe that there was no bankrupcty and the tulip bulbs and the shares were quite valuable but were suffering a slight downturn in value. Right.
And what is a bankruptcy, anyway? It is when a business no longer can solicit new investors but must begin selling off 'assets' to pay off everyone they owe money to. For example, if you can't pay your bills, you must hand over your house so it can be sold and the banks line up to get their two bits. The main mortgage gets the first bite and if there is nothing left over, the others have to eat their losses. The hedge fund whose lawyers wrote this letter want people to imagine they will get their money back after the 'assets' are sold and this will take a whole year...wow...to do. I will now speculate: 'I doubt most of them will get back more than a few farthings on the pound.' See? They can dispute me but they cannot shut me up. I have a right to wonder if they can pay back anyone! They need a year to do this because...they are hoping people will be wanting to buy their paper assets in a year because no one is so stupid as to want to buy them TODAY. And I have a legal right to say this. They can go to court here and argue the technical language of 'bankruptcy' and a thousand lawyers and a million clerks can find a zillion angels dancing on the head of a pin but this won't change the fact that it is POSSIBLE that every investor in this troubled hedge fund COULD lose their shirts. Which is a metaphor for 'going bankrupt.' And the cascade of these bankruptcies are causing the whole world's economic system to go bankrupt!
Now, I have never lost a court case. I love courtroom battles and enjoy trading shapened barbs with lawyers while on and off the witness stand. It can be tons of fun. I wish I could have an Alice in Wonderland trial with the Queen and the White Rabbit. But this will never happen.
EDITORIAL CONTENT COMING UP: In America, we have freedom of speech. If a group or gang or mob of lawyers wish to be called something, something else, they are free to do so. But if I want to call them something unflattering, I may do so if it is a metaphor and appropriate. And so I prefer to tell the truth, as I see fit.
'These lawyers are monsters because they hate American freedoms, hate our Constitution and they abuse their power to intimidate citizens to make them look away while these lawyers help their clients do whateever they wish.' Sez me. Hello! Dear English lawyers, do understand that if your hedge funds hell hounds would dearly love to mislead people by telling them 'we are NOT going bankrupt', in America, thanks to the Constitution, we have the RIGHT to say 'Bull-effing-stuff!' and WITHOUT LIBEL, can change this terminology they use such as an 'unwinding' into 'going belly up' or 'going down the tubes' or 'freaking out and trying desperately to find buyers of crummy CDOs and other poison papers' or perhaps, 'jerks who screwed up their investments and thus, didn't make their clients very, very rich and might now make them significantly poorer' or whatever.
Namely, I have a right to call entities which are called hedge funds which base their...NEFARIOUS activities OFF SHORE so they can evade paying taxes or evade government regulation...I call them 'pirates'.
As well as hell hounds.
One of my many ancestors famous for tangling with the touchy royals of England was the very first man in the English language to invent this amazing thing: the news paper. Sir Richard Steele, over 400 years ago, started this rag called 'The Tatler'. HAHAHA. He hung out with the riff raff of Whitehall and other places notorious for being the homes of the Kings and Queens of England and he listened to the gossip and then published it. Queen Anne like him a lot so you should thank him for getting you guys on the throne (you don't deserve). Um, on top of all this, the other half of the Steele family had to suddenly decamp to the New World and m oved into the Hudson Valley which was controlled by the Dutch at that time. Van Rensselaer was given a huge swath of the American continent as his private property and he needed people to move in and tell the Indians their lands were his lands.
So Henry Steele came over here while the other half stayed in London, irritating the King no end with tattle tales in the Tattler. When the first van Rensselaer, Kilean, came to the New World, when he arrived in the Albany area, he stayed with my early ancestor. My family has infested the Hudson region for the last 400 years. We were a pain---ARE---a pain in the rear all that time and up until now. We fought in this thing called 'The Revolutionary War' and being the family that invented newspapers and who voted to off the head of a certain English king and who were part of the English matter called 'The Magna Carta'---our centuries as proud barons is long and rather bloody.
We are the ultimate believers of the line, 'My home is my castle' probably because it was. The last Stuart was so pissed at us, he had our castle filled with barrels of black powder and blew it up. Heh. Note to self: I better insure this present queen can't do the same. I watched in horror as Americans kow-towed to her. When Nancy Reagan curtsied to this woman (hahaha again) I was outraged and demanded she apologize to the ghosts of my many ancestors! How dare she do that!
Well, the Queen would certainly not like to dine with me. First, I look like her because I am also related to German upperclass people on my father's side. Second, thanks to my mom, I have a stiff upper lip. I can get people to laugh at parties, imitating the queer, rather plain and often malicious (hello, Diana!) Queen of England. I can pitch my voice to imitate hers very easily by tilting my head back and raising the register a tad (normally, I talk in a deeper pitch).
'I am NOT amused,' dear Queen. HAHAHA. Oops.
OK: sarcasm is allowed in the USA. Wondering about the Queen's finances is LEGAL. Calling a hedge fund's verbage 'garbage' is 100% LEGAL. Calling off shore companies 'pirates' is LEGAL. I can call them 'pumpkins' or 'poodles' too. Disputing with them their terminology for terminating their temptuous business is LEGAL. The can call it a 'tomato' and I can call it 'stupid.' They can say they are honorable and I CAN SAY THEY ARE SCOUNDRELS.
Who did that first? Who wrote the first newspaper story with the first use of the word 'scoundrel'? My ancestor!
These laywers have 1000 of their own ilk----and I have the legal right to write that word, 'ilk'---to persecute online editorialists like myself. The hedge funds fear the truth for obvious reasons. We are now beginning to see the entire planet's economic health turn to a deadly bout of depression thanks to these hedge funds going 'bankrupt' 'kaput' and 'off the cliff'. I don't know how well they will pay back investors over the next year but I have a LEGAL RIGHT to say, 'Hell will freeze over before investors get all their money back' because it is physically impossible for these funds to return the funds in their care! The nature of finances today insures this because most of the money on people's ledgers are what I call 'Funny Money' and this funny money isn't real which is why it is rapidly vanishing!
I call the financiers of this planet 'wizards' and this, too, is my LEGAL RIGHT. This story is my testimony on the stand and I will cheerfully read it to the court, I will even pitch my head backwards and using my stiff upper lip and my patrician upbringing to imitate the Queen of Effing England! As I read this editorial. This will make the courtroom crack up and people will snigger at the Queen and laugh with me and the judge might say, 'Order in the court!'
And the White Rabbit will consult his watch and the Queen of Hearts will scream, 'Off with her head' and I will probably, like Alice, say, 'You are nothing but a deck of cards!' And so it goes: what I just wrote in this past paragraph is LEGAL. I want to read this in court because I love imitating characters in 'Alice in Wonderland.' I will also quote from the 'Lord of the Rings': From the Scouring of the Shire:
Consider this passage 'Exhibit A' in my defense. Now, I didn't wish to punch either the Queen's or the 1000 lawyers or even the hedge fund hound's pimply faces. I was downright polite compared to the heroes of the Lord of the Ring. Frodo was too much a pacifist to allow even that and I feel that the only time I should ever punch a lawyer's face is when they try to hit me first.
This actually happened to me once. A very tall and very angry lawyer called me names. So I laughed at him. He then became violent and threw a punch at me so I decked him. The guys on parole who were watching this called me 'The White Zulu Warrior' and paraded about, chanting. Heh. I didn't sue them, either. The Chinese called me 'The White Bone Demon' and I loved it tremendously. HAHAHA. The Pope called me names, too, and I still haven't sued him. I did call him a poppinjay and a wren dressed in peacock's feathers amoung other things.
I called Bush a 'Chimpanzee' but feel badly for the chimp population of the earth so I call him a 'satanist' and if he wants to go to court to discuss satanism and the Skull and Bones, I can't wait! Whoopie. But he knows better. He and I know each other. He once sent Haley Barbour to NYC to tell the NYT to shut me up. This was reported in Brill's Report, a defunct magazine. HAHAHA.
To quote Mayor Koch of NYC back in the 1980's, 'Shut up, bitch!' I didn't sue him, I laughed. He then called me 'Little Woman' and I called him 'Little Man' and then I waited for him to throw the first punch but he backed down while the TV cameras fillmed everything. Yes, I used to be on TV. Once, an ambassador at the UN working for the US as our representative, threw a drunken punch at me and I deftly stepped aside and helped him to gently fall to the ground. Congressman Richardson screamed at me as he went into the courthouse, 'This is all your fault! You did this to me!' Before losing his case and going to prison.
One lawyer described me as 'a human chainsaw'. Another, 'a rattlesnake.' I didn't sue either man, by the way. Freedom of speech and all that! People in power have called me many names, most of which are very unflattering. Hedge funds and Queens should get used to this. And this takes me back to the elemental fact that someone owns Guernsey and Bermuda and it ain't the British SUBJECTS. They aren't citizens, by the way. Subjects barely own much of England itself! A certain lady with a funny voice and an ill temper (displayed in the news recently over her ugly little photoshoot) runs these islands used by financial pirates...yes, I call them pirates....so they can avoid good laws and thus, they can do whatever they want in the financial world and they are going to destroy the entire planet's financial systems and I have A LEGAL RIGHT TO SAY THIS IN WRITING!
Remember: the guys preventing free speech in the Shire are the bad guys. They are the ones anxious to keep people in power and to prevent anyone from talking about stopping them! These people dream of ruling humanity and they can't do it without an army of lawyers intimidating people. The Democratic party has joined the Republican party this week in destroying our lovely Constitution by allowing spying, prying and suppression of free speech and perhaps, in a year or two, my little corner of the internet will vanish as the monsters... and I call the Queen of England and the President of the United States and our Representatives (sic) ...MONSTERS. They hate our freedoms and toil day and night, not to protect them but to protect themselves!
They don't need freedom of speech because they can yell, 'Off with her head!' and off comes the head. They can yell, 'Shut up, shut up, shut up.' We can't shut them up. We can't sue them in court. We have nothing here in America but this wonderful document my own ancestors fought and died for, the Constitution of the United States of America! The head of my news service states 'The blog is mightier than the sword.' And it cuts to the quick! We shall see if Her Misnamed Majesty attacks me again. I bet my blog will be censored in England as it is in other despotic countries that hate and fear the truth.
Maybe I should rename this, 'The Tattler.'
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Will they spy on me and try to give me trouble? I don't know. There are organizations that do this! Drive the people insane. Hire detectives to spy on us and take pictures, etc. They sail in uncharted waters which seems a rather good metaphor for what pirates and conquisatores do. The best thing for them to do is issue sweet statements assuring the investors in offshore hedge funds not attacking a small hausfrau on a mountain for saying otherwise.