My Anti-Gypsy Moth Barriers Work

Elaine Meinel Supkis

I know it is odd to post one bug story after another but I did some experiments on stopping gypsy moth caterpillars and lo and behold, the method I invented worked! Since this menace is destroying absolutely everything in their path out here, I am posting yet another story (which I hope the media picks up),

The diagram shows a typical tree wrapped with heavy duty saran wrap. It clings to itself and it is clear, this means, at the top, one can stretch it very tight and wind is about the tree two or three times, tugging the bottom out as one winds in a spiral creating a bell shape.

These creatures can climb windows so shiny surfaces mean nothing to them. But they also like to go up and up and up. Their tiny nervous systems say, "If you see a tree trunk, climb up." This they do relentlessly.

But a clever human can trap them using this same logic! So they go up until they reach the tight top and then they keep on pushing hoping to push past it. More bugs come up the rear and push on the ones ahead. Their tiny brains say, "If you encounter another caterpillar, climb over it!" And so they pile in, many of them. I trapped thousands in just one day this way!

They hatch at the top of trees and at the top of trees on top of mountains. For once they eat their poor host, their tiny brains say, "Crawl down the tree and crawl downhill." And they also prefer to follow each other just like ants and cows and all sorts of animals. Creatures like to walk behind each other. This is because it is nearly universal for all living things to think, "If there is danger, I will know it when the guy ahead of me gets killed."

The system I devised looks fine from far away. It is in fact, nearly invisible. One can check it to see how many bugs are dead or if one is ill tempered like I am about this, I crush them by squeezing the plastic. Heck, I have been stomping on them, running them over, pouring parafin on them, smashing them with my hands, kicking them and in general, being quite vicious.

During the heat of the day, they cluster under rocks and in cool, damp places. I ambush them there, too. Around the foundation of houses on the northside, in particular.

They are killing all my trees. I do this for them. The trees are desperate. I love my forest.

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Comments

[big Al]

Fot those up in the tree, tie a propane torch to a long bamboo pole, ignite and burn out the nests.

[Elaine Meinel Supkis]

Um, forest fires are really bad. Though, in this case, it might not matter anymore. Sigh.

You see, if you kill a few nests it means nothing. They are in a ZILLION trees here! This is one of the worst infestations, ever, out here.

[Jackie]

That's a really neat idea, but wouldn't it be harmful to native caterpillars and other bugs that get trapped at the top? I'm no expert when it comes to bugs so I wouldn't know if the native caterpillars even climb up those trees as well. If I ever do this I will get a field guide on insects just to be safe!

[Beats by Dre]

Put （or Lay or Set） one's shoulder to the wheel.