A New Year's Brewer's Ale Tale

New Year's Eve, 2007

Elaine Meinel Supkis

Dear readers, I hope and pray we all have a very happy new year and we can hope that rather than do stupid things, we all do smart things and failing that, we should get sloshed or stoned or pig out or whatever we can do to drown our woes or fly as high as a kite. To celebrate this, I bring here a story about the earliest brew in the Emerald Isle: prehistoric beer breweries discovered by archeologists.

Beer From the Bronze Age

Two Irish archaeologists have tried to brew beer like their ancestors used to make -- 3,000 years ago -- in an effort to uncover the purpose of common, ancient stone mounds.

It was a rough morning. Hung over after a night out in Galway, archaeologist Billy Quinn was nursing a headache over a hearty Irish breakfast, pondering the mysteries of his excavation site and thinking with a measure of self interest about mankind's age-old quest for mind-altering substances.

Then it hit him: His excavation site was a brewery.

My husband and I have used several ancient ways of cooking and brewing over the years. For a decade, my only way to bake things like bread, was to either make a kiln outside and feed it with fire or later, a Victorian wood burning stove. We also used a pit in the ground next to a spring as a summer refrigerator and the back door snowbank as the winter freezer.

One memorable New Year's party, we put two bottles of champagne which one of our guests brought up the mountain to our tent complex, in the snow to chill. Only, we all got rather drunk on the homemade brew from the cask and the temperature outside fell to -5 degrees below zero. I suddenly remembered, at midnight, where it was stowed. I ran outside and fetched the bottles which looked more like something from Siberia rather than France.

My husband popped it open and out poured frothy ice! 'New Year's snow cones!' I announced. Well, we ate the champagne. I even briefly thought of selling Champagne Icies from a cart in summer but that was too illegal since we found out , we could get drunk on this glace vino.

Another New Years, Chips, one of our oxen, fell and lay in the field under the old oak tree. His brother ox stood over him as he slowly died. I sat on the ground and held his huge head and he looked at me with his big brown eyes and tried to lick me in a last show of affection. That same night, Putin pushed Yelsin out of his office with little ceremony. It seemed somehow fitting that this would be the final act of the millennium.

This year, due to the snow storms up here, everyone came yesterday for sampling of homebrew and fun. One of our dogs snitched a slice of ham from the kitchen and caused an uproar as she tried to run out with it. I learn to keep on my toes, trying to outsmart or outrun various wild and domestic creatures.

Today, I had to go off and do some emergency repairs on the in-law's house and on the way there, an owl swooped down and nearly hit my truck as we drove through a deep, dark, forest. Then, on the way home, deer kept running in front of me. Finally, we came back to the mountain. On the road up, yet more deer came bounding over the snow drifts. nearly crashing into me. If nothing else, this place has plenty of Bambi in the hoof [hint-hint].

The story about how some scientists recreated ancient beers shows us an important lesson: the people who first figured out these beers were creative. They figured out how to have fun in between fighting each other, raiding cattle, seducing comely young women, raising hellish children and singing long ballads about the adventures of heroes and gods. They lived and had a lot of fun and hard times but the main thing is, they lived!

As someone who has lived in a very primitive life for many years, not for a week or a summer but years and years, I assure everyone, doing these things such as brewing a beer based on harvesting wild herbs and flowers and the satisfaction and joy one gets from all this is indescribable. My children and I have collected wild strawberries or puff mushrooms the size of a loaf of bread or wild black berries and used them in various brews and breads. We used these things with the honey from our bees who moved into our hive from the wild, to make mead, the drought of Valhalla. With virtually no money, we lived very full and even charming lives. We had sheep and oxen, a crazy war horse named Sparky, dogs, chickens, ducks, turkeys and bees. And the cats, of course, to keep the mice at bay.

As we herded our domestic bronze turkeys around, wild turkeys would come out of the woods, heads craned as high as possible, to see these birds following me about, as I did my chores After discussing this strange affair, the wild turkeys noted that I would often throw food to the domestic turkeys. Soon, they joined in and began to follow me about, too.

One day, I was pushing a wheel barrel across the hillside. The turkeys, wild and domestic, were following me, making happy peep-teep sounds. A herd of deer were browsing under the old apple tree. They watched as I came closer and closer. Normally, if the wild turkeys make their danger sound which is like a trill, the deer bolt. But the turkeys were making happy noises. So the deer stood still as I got closer and closer. Soon, I was pushing this big wheel barrel right into them. So they backed off and still watched me. At this point, Fluff, my cat, came meowing out of the woods, looking to be carried in my arms. This scared the deer off.

Our ancestors lived in the midst of wild and some domestic animals. They lived in the wind, rain and snow. They made love, had children and told stories and laughed. The beer they drank probably was inspired by beer created by the Phoenician sailors who went all the way over to the Isles seeking tin for bronze making. For these ancient beer brewing stone remains are from the Bronze Age which was the age of exploration and civilizations such as the glorious Cretan empire or ancient Egypt and the Mesopotamian city-states. Beer brewing is quite ancient and runs alongside the domestication of barely and dates. Wherever the Phoenicians traveled and traded, beer brewing blossomed. For example, I believe that the Norse didn't drink beer but only meade. When beer brewing moved northwards, then they saw the wisdom of this sort of brewing.

When I was a child, the tribes in southern Arizona and northern Mexico would take huge clay pots, fill them with water and parts of yucca plants and then hang the pots in the sun with a wood lid. It would then ferment and this was the beginning of techuila. Like with the Scots and Irish and many others, modern chemistry has been used to distill this early stuff and turn it into gut-burning potency! The tools used for this came out of the alchemist's laboratories of ancient lore. The attempt to turn lead into gold failed but turning mushy mash into a golden liquid, this was the next best thing if not even better than gold! And certainly, it has made a lot of gold for the brewers!

So tonight, let us salute our ancestors who were so clever, they tamed animals [except for cats, they moved in and took over], cultivated the grasses and herbs and learned the lore of the bees in order to bring us modern civilization. We must thank them for all this and strive to honor them all by living our lives in similar fashion. So eat, drink and be merry! Life is granted to us all so we can look at the stars at night and marvel about the gods and in day, go hunting, play with the children and brew more drinks!

I also want to thank all the kind readers who have sent us financial support this last year. I greatly appreciate the consideration and hope I can be of some small use in the new year! We have so many things to discuss! And of course, in may own haphazard way, we will look into the future from our perch on the mountain peak of the past.

Comments

[PFO]

Hello Elaine,

Many Happy Returns of the year, 2002!

What you may say 2002? Well it seems that Pope Gregory the Great who willed us his Gregorian Calendar was a great theologian, but an average mathematician.

He calculated the Winter Solstice from the shadows of the Sun in an ancient Church in central Rome, but the floor tiles read the shadow several degrees off.

Hence, the Gregorian Calendar was 1 or 2 degrees in error; which translated into approximately 6 years since the Birth of Christ. Thus, we have the modern anomaly of Herod The Great, who ordered the slaughter of the innocents, dying 4 years before Christ was born!

Well, none-the-less may 2002-2008 however you see it be a year of mirth, love and great writing for you and greater reading and contemplation for we your public.

Kindest regards,
PFO

[Al]

If PFO is correct, then we are all 6 years younger and if I drank I would drink to that.
Whether I'm younger or not, Elaine thank you for all you do. Happy New Year.

[Carli]

Happy New Year to All!!!

While we wish for the best in the coming year let's take caution and prepare for the worst.

One of the queerest things I have learned in my short life is that, intelligence can coexist harmoniously with stupidity in the same space! But take heart, all the pain and suffering has a purpose, it makes us look at what is truly of value in our lives. Wishing the blessing of Light to all.

Peace.

[Greg]

Happy new year Elaine and to all her readers, may 2008 bring you peace love and joy in your lives.

Greg

[Betty]

Happy, happy 2008. When I pop out of bed in the morning and turn on my computer to find out what has been happening in our World, I go to your site Elaine first thing. Your writing, presentation, art work, analysis has truly grabbed me. You, IMHO, are an exceptional woman and I admire you. Peace and love to all,
Betty

[CK]

Err Al even if PFO is correct it only means that you were born 6 years earlier than you think you were. You are still the same age. Which does not mean that you cannot drink to Gregory's error anyhow.

[Elaine Supkis]

Worse than that, the Roman Empire FROZE THE ZODIAC! All modern astrologers are off by about 2,500 years! We are all one month off in the Zodiac which means no one gets a proper 'reading' hahaha.

Incidentally, due to the massive changes of which stars rise in the East on Easter, we are moving out of Pisces and are not yet into Aquarius and of course, the original Pegasus, when he had his bottom half of his body, is the constellation between and flying slightly above the Zodiac, which is why I love to say, we are in the Age of Pegasus.

And Pegasus, being a horse, loves to eat, drink and have golden apples and of course, no one gets to ride him for long, no, not at all. So everyone, take heart and remember, so long as we live, we can love.

[notgonnatellya]

Speaking of love...thanks for giving us an off-beat, quirky, and fascinating blog, Elaine. Truly one of my favorite places on the net.

Happy New Year to you and your menagerie...human and otherwise. :)

[tutterfrut]

Happy New Year, Elaine from Flanders (Belgium), where we have plenty of beers AND a 3 month emergency-government since a few days.

[Elaine Supkis]

I read about Belgium all the time. It is most amazing. Do NOT ask the Germans to help you out, obviously. Nor Spain. Or France. Maybe the Duke of Orange? My family fled to your lands back in the 1600s. Both the French and English sides. This is because Belgium and Holland were not ruled by despots eager to chop our heads off.

Today, I had a very interesting Belgium chocolate made by my neighbor who is from this part of the world. Her daughter in law mistook the name labels on the spices and put HOT PEPPER instead of nutmeg in the chocolates.

I bit into it and choked! YEOW. My tongue was on fire. We figured out what was wrong and everyone laughed. So as each visitor rang the doorbell, the grandkids would offer these chocolate treats and then laugh.

[blues]

Happy New Year all. The snow in Western Mass. has been phenomenal. Nobody went out to dig on New Year's, so it was crazy. We have just now finished the "moving of cars" ceremony in honor of the storm.

[John]

So, those were Aztec Belgian chocolates, eh?

Happy New Year, Elaine, and to everyone!

[Elaine Supkis]

The little ones loved to watch us foolish adults bite into them and then start crying. Ah, to be a child again....

[WhichBurner]

What great stuff.

[pinnacle security]

Funny photo! Probably it was discovered at that moment accidentally.